Avoid Single Mom Burnout Tip # 9 …Break the Chains of Stinking Thinking!

Monochrome Grunge Photo Human Trafficking Poster (1)

Romans 8:5-6 

“For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.”

What is your mind set on? Is it set on your problems, on the dismal state of the world, regrets, or the limitations you see to be holding you back in life? Our thoughts are super powerful. Our actions and emotions are in direct alignment with our thoughts. If we allow our circumstances to dictate our thoughts we are in for a rollercoaster of a ride. Why? Because our circumstances are always in flux. How many times have you been riding high, and then boom something blindsides you and you’re lying flat on your back. How do you keep your mind healthy in those hard times? What are you meditating on? The problem or the blessing? Paul tells us in Philippians that we need to meditate on those things above. That’s key to breaking the chains of stinking thinking! Is your mind set on the fleshly things, your circumstances, or is it set on your faith and hope in God’s grace and provision?

Your mind is prime real estate  for the enemy. Never forget that God has a plan for your life, but so does the enemy and it starts with an attack on your mind. When the stinking thinking seeds are planted in your mind, they breed and multiply quickly manifesting toxicity in your actions and your interactions! See, the dangerous thing about stinking thinking is it is invasive and contagious. It infects everyone you’re around! As a mom, no one is expecting you to be skipping to the lou every day, but your words and actions matter to your kids. Negativity spreads like wild fire and if you’re not careful your kids will adopt the stinking thinking pattern in their own lives.

Stinking thinking is exhausting! Negative thoughts drain your brain and your energy. Stinking thinking is how the enemy distracts you from living fully in your role as a child of Christ! Stinking thinking is in direct opposition to the spirit of God. When our mind is filled with the spirit we feel renewed, refreshed and willing to God’s will for our life. We don’t see impossibilities or limitations because we are living in a state of spiritual abundance, and not the lack that stinking thinking falsely makes you believe you’re living in!

In my upcoming e-book, “15 Tips to Avoid Single Mom Burnout,” I give you a strategic plan based straight from the scriptures that will help you to evict stinking thinking from your mind! In the meantime, here are some scriptures to meditate on to get you on the road of breaking the chains of stinking thinking:

Philippians 4:8

Finally brothers whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about those things.”

Romans 12:2 

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

1 Corinthians 3:18 

“Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you thinks that he is wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise.”

Psalm 119:15 

“I will meditate on your precepts and fix my eyes on your ways.”

2 Corinthians 10:5 

 “We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.”

 

Avoid Single Mom Burnout Tip # 1…Schedule A Date With Jesus

Greeting Photo Birthday Instagram Post (1)

There is one date that you absolutely should not miss…a daily date with Jesus! A good old talk with Jesus will refresh your spirit, strengthen your resolve and give you the hope you need when the walls are crumbling down. A  real relationship with Jesus is a gift. No one knows your burnout, anxiety, fears, dreams and your heart like Jesus! If there is one tip that I hope you remember it is this one, the number one tip, which is to make an intentional choice to choose God first. Isn’t it a blessing that we have access to our Father 24/7? God is present. But are you? God doesn’t care about formalities, he wants to hear from you always. Whether you’re washing the dishes, making dinner, raking leaves, talk to God! He’s listening! The world is noisy and it tries its best to drown out the voice of God, but make God louder by making your relationship with Him your number one priority! When you are walking with the Lord there is nothing to fear! He will light the path when all you see is darkness, He will pull you out of the pit and bring you into that spacious place, as only He can. Get to know Jesus. Know who He is. Know who He is to you. Dive into the scriptures and let them feed your soul. It will change your life.

In my upcoming eBook, “15 Tips to Avoid Single Mom Burnout,” I give you practical ideas on making a date with Jesus on a daily basis. I know that nothing else will restore you body, mind and spirit like a relationship with the Lord!

Avoid Single Mom Burnout Tip #10…Don’t Badmouth the Ex!

tip 10

Relationships are complex at best. Co-parenting relationship with your children’s father can add a whole new level of complexity, emotion, stress and frustration to your life. Everyone’s relationship is different. I know women who have wonderful relationships with their children’s father, so good that it is hard to believe they are divorced! On the other side of the spectrum I’ve known women who literally do not talk to their children’s father at all and have a mediator or go between. Co-parenting relationships take time, patience and respect and are filled with peaks and valleys, but what matters most are the kids. Regardless of the divorce and the relationship afterward, most people agree that they love their kids and their happiness is what is important.

Many of the moms I speak to are completely burned out, not by the responsibilities, the kids, their job, or even finances, but it is their ex! There is so much hurt, anger, bitterness, and baggage that it consumes them. It eats at them day in and day out, so they vent…and vent… and vent. Listen, I get it! Sometimes you just need to let loose, but there comes a point when you have to let go as well. When we spend our energy bad mouthing and complaining about our ex, we are still living as though we are in the relationship! Moving on and creating something new becomes impossible, because of the negativity.

Dare, I say instead of badmouthing, become the peacemaker? No one is expecting that everything will be roses overnight, but do you want to live out the next however many years in a state of anger? Bad mouthing never really makes you feel better, it leaves a residue that sticks to you. Badmouthing pricks at your spirit, and convicts you. You know in your heart that God doesn’t want us to tear one another to pieces with our words. It is especially damaging if it is done in front of the kids. The longer you bad mouth the more exhausting it becomes because negativity is poisonous and zaps our energy and our light as Christians.

Divorce is heartbreaking, whether you both agree to it or not, so if you can work at creating something new for the sake of your family, why not do it? Our kids watch us and giving them an example that is rooted in respect will have a big impact, but so does badmouthing. Galatians 5:15 says, “If you bite and devour each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.” The enemy wants us to take a tough situation and make it worse by keeping us biting at one another until there is nothing left. Don’t allow it to happen.

I don’t know your ex or your circumstances and I’m not making light of any situation. There are some cases where an ex boyfriend or husband are physically abusive and dangerous and in those cases there is usually no relationship for reasons of physical and emotional safety. But, if that is not the case, coming to a place where you stop the badmouthing and start recreating the narrative will only be better for you and everyone involved. My number one way to do this is to pray! Ask God to bring you to  a place of peace, ask  him to heal the hurt, to bring the co-parenting relationship to a place of respect.

I can’t wait for you to dig deeper into this tip in my upcoming e-book, “15 Tips to Avoid Single Mom Burnout.” 

Avoid Single Mom Burnout Tip #3 …Say No!

Tip 3

Single Mom Burnout is serious! If you’re a single mom you know that burnout can take you out! It’s important that we reserve our energy for our sanity and the welfare of everyone around us. A burned out mom can be a scary sight! We take home the bacon, fry it up in the pan, and sometimes we forget we are a woman… not a robot programmed or capable to do a million things at once. We experience burnout when we say yes to everything. Listen, I like to please, but when I say yes, without evaluating if I have the time, money, or energy it never ends well. Well, it may go great for the people I said yes to, but I feel depleted and a little resentful if I’m being honest. This attitude defeats the whole purpose of saying yes!

Scripture tells us to let our yes mean yes and our no mean no. No is not a bad word. Saying no doesn’t indicate that you’re mean, standoffish, or selfish! Saying no means that you know when to cry uncle! You know when enough is enough and too much is too much. Saying no means you care about your wellbeing and acknowledge your limits. Saying no means you take your commitments seriously and don’t just commit without thinking it through. You give yourself peace and honor those around you when you are honest about your yes and your no’s. So, my friend stand firm and kind in your no it really is okay.

I’m excited to be launching an e-Book with my 15 Tips on Avoiding Single Mom Burnout! I’ll be giving you practical tips, prayers, and scriptures to help you avoid burning out so that you can shine your brightest as a woman of God!

When Looking Back Turns Us Into A Pillar of Salt

The quickest way to become an ineffective Christian is to keep looking back and living in the past. Remember Lot’s wife? She was told to not look back, to flee, but the temptation to look back on a city that could no longer serve her turned her into a pillar of salt. She was left unable to move or go forward. Don’t allow yourself to meet the same fate as Lot’s wife! Be the salt of the earth by trusting God and resisting the urge to live a life that you’ve shed. Don’t allow your resistance to change to affect who God created you to become! Check out the newest post at my author site.

https://www.cherewilliams.com/what-i-m-writing/when-looking-back-turns-us-into-a-pillar-of-salt

Stand Firmly in The Conqueror God Created You to Be! Romans 8:37

Romans 8_37

There are more days than less when I feel like anything but a conqueror.  Instead of feeling like a conqueror, I feel weak, tired, less than, and defeated. There are days when I just want to put the covers over my head and simply give up because the day in front of me is so overwhelming that I don’t want to face it alone. When I slip into this pit of defeat, I’m reminded that it isn’t my strength, but through the strength of God who loves me that I will get through the day. Regardless of how stressful or impossible it appears to be, God lifts me up to higher ground.

I run into trouble when I throw on depend on myself. When I think that I’m in control and a conqueror of my own is when I realize how weak I really am without fully relying on the one who loves me. God created us to be conquerors, to withstand even the unspeakable trials that fall upon us and he empowers us to stand against the spiritual battles we face every day. When we accepted Christ we were endowed with the Holy Spirit and the real power that comes through Christ.

If you’re in a season that is getting the best of you, that is tearing you down I want you to read Roman 8:37 and remember that not only are you a conqueror through His love, you are MORE than a conqueror! Sweet sister, put your full faith in the Lord and you will see a mighty blessing take place. You will experience what God is able to do in any situation big or small through you! Meditate on this scripture and etch it in your heart and mind whenever you are doubtful and ready to give up. God isn’t finished with you he is just beginning and there is much to conqueror in your path, but you are equipped with an everlasting love and the most powerful ally that ever lived…Jesus Christ. Now, stand firmly in the conqueror God created you to be!

7 Simple Tips for Moms On Getting It Done!

Basketball Team Sports Poster

Do you feel like you’re constantly scrambling to get it all done? I don’t think we ever really get it all done and if we do there’s usually a heavy price to pay physically and mentally. There’s always more to do, right? But, there are things we need to get done for our lives to run smoother. I find working two part-time jobs, driving my kid to dance 3 days a week plus Nutcracker rehearsal on the weekends, finding time to write, feed us, clean the house, volunteering and a host of other things can leave me feeling depleted and lashing out under the guise of being overwhelmed. Just looking at my unfinished yard can throw me into a tailspin, so what to do?

Here are 3 simple tips on how to get it done without completely losing your mind!

  1. Create Time Blocks: Setting aside chunks of designated time allows you to concentrate on that one thing you’re trying to accomplish. Even if you can’t finish it in one day, time blocking helps you make concrete steps toward completing your goal or project. For example, I need to clean the backyard for a party I’m hosting in November. I’m setting aside an hour and a half on Saturday, Tuesday for the next two weeks from 4:30-6:00 pm. I’ll mark it on my calendar and set an alarm on my phone for a reminder. I’ll get the yard finished without being completely overwhelmed in time for the party.
  2. Think About How You Can Help your Future Self: This may sound weird, but I’m prone to procrastination, so asking myself how I can help my future self is huge when it comes to me getting it done. When I’m ready to go to bed without preparing for next day, I ask myself, “how will this impact future Chere’s day?” So, if I decide not to prep for the next day, the morning is usually hurried, I’m crabby and rushed making for a not so great morning. But, if lunch is made, breakfast is planned, clothes are out and coffee is pre-set, I wake up feeling ready for the day. Asking yourself this simple question is a self-motivator to get it done.
  3. Time Your Chores: If you know how long it typically takes to get something done  it makes it easier to plan your day. For example, set a timer when you clean your living room. Once your finished take note of how long it takes you to finish. Of course this can vary, but it gives you an estimate on the time block you need to set aside to get it done.
  4. Say No: No is not a bad word. No can be a life saver. Saying no when you are overscheduled and overwhelmed will preserve your mental, emotional, and physical health. If you’re saying yes to everything there is no white space to simply enjoy life and to focus on the people, projects and things that need your attention.
  5. Plan Out Your Week By Writing it Down: This seems like a no brainer, but it is such a simple step that can really organize our lives. Pick some time during Sunday or even Monday and write down everything you have to do for the week. I suggest including appointments, work commitments, extracurricular activities, household chores, etc. and then hang it somewhere you can see it. Having your to do’s in writing helps keep you on the right track.
  6. Unplug: In this tech savvy world we can easily be sucked into our phones, social media, and the internet. Be proactive and intentional about unplugging during your day. Put the phone away and you’ll be surprised how much you can get finished!
  7. Let Perfectionism Go! Trying to be perfect will slowly drive you insane. perfectionism keeps you in a state of discontentment because you’re always trying to do it better. Get it as good as it can get and move on. Life isn’t perfect. Striving for perfectionsim robs us from the joy of this imperfect life! If you done it is okay! The world will not stop spinning and everyone will survive!

Lastly make sure you ask for help! Get the kids involved, don’t be a supermom and reach out for help when you need it! Learn how to minimize, prioritize and rest as well!