Everyone deserves happiness, companionship and love. Divorce and separation are devastating and it can scar us to our core. Each of us handles it differently. Some of us stay clear from relationships and some of us run towards them jumping in feet first ready to start all over again. I’m not judging either of these approaches, but I do think any extreme is never a good thing. One of the quickest ways to burnout is to be desperate for a relationship. Desperation causes people to settle, push priorities to the side, and allow all of your energy to be consumed in a relationship. Desperation doesn’t look good on anyone and it is extremely unhealthy. There is no denying that relationships can be beautiful and if you desire one in your life than by all means pray for God to bring the right person in your life and your family’s life. When we get swept away into a romance it is very easy to put blinders on and to lose sight of what God wants for us. He has the perfect plan already laid out whether it includes you being in a relationship or being single.
Are your rushing through you season of singleness? Before you dart toward the exit, think about these few things:
- Have You Prayed About This Season? Have you asked God to reveal what is His will for this season in your life? There may be things that God specifically wants you to focus on and if you rush through you may miss out on some vital plans that God has for your life.
Have You Embraced This Season? Being single can be a gift because it give you the freedom and time to get to know yourself, to think about what you want and don’t want, to reevaluate your approach and patterns in relationships and your expectations. It is also a time to develop your gifts to fine tune them and to manifest them to serve and glorify God.
Is This Season Specifically Reserved for Family? This may be a time to focus heavily on your family, which I’m sure you always do, however if you are newly single you and your family are undergoing a huge transformation. This is the time to navigate and pray through this restructuring so that you can build a loving and positive experience through a difficult situation.
If you happen to be dating or really are ‘ready to move forward, think about the meaning of desperate. It means, “having a great need or desire for something, or feeling hopeless, trying in despair or when everything else has failed; having little hope of success.
As you embark on the dating scene ask yourself if any of these words or feelings resonate with you. If they do the relationship you are seeking isn’t with another human being it is with God. You are trying to feel a void that will never be filled from any earthly relationship. You can’t be sustained or fulfilled from the companionship of another person if you aren’t first completed through Christ.
If you are in a relationship, don’t conform to being someone your not. Stay whole and stand in who you are in Christ. For example, if you attend church every Sunday and the person you’re dating doesn’t go to church, don’t stop going to church. If your desire is to have a successful relationship keep God first and don’t change your life around to please someone else. If you’re dating and you find yourself stressed, strained, or evolving into a person you don’t recognize this may not be the right time or the right person. Chasing after someone is draining and exhausting. It isn’t your job to change anyone so don’t wear yourself out!
You are a beautiful woman who deserves God’s absolute best so trust in Him to pick your mate. If you want a relationship go to your heavenly husband! Then pray for God to bring you who He designed for you. A partner ha will love, respect and honor you and your children along with your family dynamics. Do it the right way! Stay faithful and don’t do it on your own, God’s choice for you will always be the right one. Embrace, learn and grown from the season God has you in at this minute. Know that you will be fine with or without a relationship and when it is the right time God will intervene.