Avoid Single Mom Burnout Tip # 9 …Break the Chains of Stinking Thinking!

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Romans 8:5-6 

“For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit set their minds on the things of the Spirit. For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace.”

What is your mind set on? Is it set on your problems, on the dismal state of the world, regrets, or the limitations you see to be holding you back in life? Our thoughts are super powerful. Our actions and emotions are in direct alignment with our thoughts. If we allow our circumstances to dictate our thoughts we are in for a rollercoaster of a ride. Why? Because our circumstances are always in flux. How many times have you been riding high, and then boom something blindsides you and you’re lying flat on your back. How do you keep your mind healthy in those hard times? What are you meditating on? The problem or the blessing? Paul tells us in Philippians that we need to meditate on those things above. That’s key to breaking the chains of stinking thinking! Is your mind set on the fleshly things, your circumstances, or is it set on your faith and hope in God’s grace and provision?

Your mind is prime real estate  for the enemy. Never forget that God has a plan for your life, but so does the enemy and it starts with an attack on your mind. When the stinking thinking seeds are planted in your mind, they breed and multiply quickly manifesting toxicity in your actions and your interactions! See, the dangerous thing about stinking thinking is it is invasive and contagious. It infects everyone you’re around! As a mom, no one is expecting you to be skipping to the lou every day, but your words and actions matter to your kids. Negativity spreads like wild fire and if you’re not careful your kids will adopt the stinking thinking pattern in their own lives.

Stinking thinking is exhausting! Negative thoughts drain your brain and your energy. Stinking thinking is how the enemy distracts you from living fully in your role as a child of Christ! Stinking thinking is in direct opposition to the spirit of God. When our mind is filled with the spirit we feel renewed, refreshed and willing to God’s will for our life. We don’t see impossibilities or limitations because we are living in a state of spiritual abundance, and not the lack that stinking thinking falsely makes you believe you’re living in!

In my upcoming e-book, “15 Tips to Avoid Single Mom Burnout,” I give you a strategic plan based straight from the scriptures that will help you to evict stinking thinking from your mind! In the meantime, here are some scriptures to meditate on to get you on the road of breaking the chains of stinking thinking:

Philippians 4:8

Finally brothers whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about those things.”

Romans 12:2 

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

1 Corinthians 3:18 

“Let no one deceive himself. If anyone among you thinks that he is wise in this age, let him become a fool that he may become wise.”

Psalm 119:15 

“I will meditate on your precepts and fix my eyes on your ways.”

2 Corinthians 10:5 

 “We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ.”

 

Avoid Single Mom Burnout Tip # 1…Schedule A Date With Jesus

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There is one date that you absolutely should not miss…a daily date with Jesus! A good old talk with Jesus will refresh your spirit, strengthen your resolve and give you the hope you need when the walls are crumbling down. A  real relationship with Jesus is a gift. No one knows your burnout, anxiety, fears, dreams and your heart like Jesus! If there is one tip that I hope you remember it is this one, the number one tip, which is to make an intentional choice to choose God first. Isn’t it a blessing that we have access to our Father 24/7? God is present. But are you? God doesn’t care about formalities, he wants to hear from you always. Whether you’re washing the dishes, making dinner, raking leaves, talk to God! He’s listening! The world is noisy and it tries its best to drown out the voice of God, but make God louder by making your relationship with Him your number one priority! When you are walking with the Lord there is nothing to fear! He will light the path when all you see is darkness, He will pull you out of the pit and bring you into that spacious place, as only He can. Get to know Jesus. Know who He is. Know who He is to you. Dive into the scriptures and let them feed your soul. It will change your life.

In my upcoming eBook, “15 Tips to Avoid Single Mom Burnout,” I give you practical ideas on making a date with Jesus on a daily basis. I know that nothing else will restore you body, mind and spirit like a relationship with the Lord!

Avoid Single Mom Burnout Tip #3 …Say No!

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Single Mom Burnout is serious! If you’re a single mom you know that burnout can take you out! It’s important that we reserve our energy for our sanity and the welfare of everyone around us. A burned out mom can be a scary sight! We take home the bacon, fry it up in the pan, and sometimes we forget we are a woman… not a robot programmed or capable to do a million things at once. We experience burnout when we say yes to everything. Listen, I like to please, but when I say yes, without evaluating if I have the time, money, or energy it never ends well. Well, it may go great for the people I said yes to, but I feel depleted and a little resentful if I’m being honest. This attitude defeats the whole purpose of saying yes!

Scripture tells us to let our yes mean yes and our no mean no. No is not a bad word. Saying no doesn’t indicate that you’re mean, standoffish, or selfish! Saying no means that you know when to cry uncle! You know when enough is enough and too much is too much. Saying no means you care about your wellbeing and acknowledge your limits. Saying no means you take your commitments seriously and don’t just commit without thinking it through. You give yourself peace and honor those around you when you are honest about your yes and your no’s. So, my friend stand firm and kind in your no it really is okay.

I’m excited to be launching an e-Book with my 15 Tips on Avoiding Single Mom Burnout! I’ll be giving you practical tips, prayers, and scriptures to help you avoid burning out so that you can shine your brightest as a woman of God!

Free PDF! Excerpt From the Upcoming Book, “Don’t Be a Yes Girl!”

I’m working hard on my e-book I hope to release by the end of this year. I’m excited to share with you an excerpt and peek into one of the chapters, “Don’t Be A Yes Girl!” I hope you enjoy it! Click on the link below for access to the PDF.

Download (PDF, 24.88MB)

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Avoid Single Mom Burnout Tip #11 Step Outside of the Box

Routines are the major part of our day, which isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Routines are instrumental in giving our families structure,   security, peace, and even joy. But, when you start to resemble a robot and your household is more like an assembly line rather than a place of creative energy than routine becomes more life sucking  than life giving. If your routine is draining you and the   little mundane tasks of everyday life is burning you out than its time to step outside of the box!  Life is supposed to be exciting! Are you climbing Mount Everest and hiking through the rain forest every day? Probably not, but I think life should contain a healthy dose of spontaneity! We feel most alive when we are learning, trying something new and just living in the moment instead of living by a strict to do list. If you find yourself drowning in monotony throw yourself a life preserver and do something different! Life is short, take time to embark on an  adventure! Try new things, take a risk, go new places, meet new people and step outside of your norm.

Single moms have a unique situation in that they usually have every other weekend or some part of the week free.  Now, I know we’d much rather have our kids with us 24/7 and this can be a really rough adjustment, but take advantage of that time to push routine to the side and do something that is totally different! Take a painting class, go wall climbing or zip lining, pack a small bag and just get in your car and drive to no particular place in mind.  Don’t go off the deep end and do anything reckless or put yourself in a dangerous situation, but have fun and give yourself permission to do so! Every day you work hard, you take care of your family, maintain a home and a host of other things and that is admirable. You are a ROCKSTAR, but it’s also okay to get refreshed by trying or doing something new!

Get spontaneous with your kids and family time as well. There is no one on earth I’d rather be with more than Anya. One my favorite things to do with her is to travel and be spontaneous on a whim. When we step outside the box, it gives her a sense of wonder and adventure not to mention it allows us to create long lasting memories! Your kids most likely will be on board to do something different with mom, after all they get tired of the day to day routine too! So, go ahead and be an explorer, challenge your mind, and step outside the box you deserve it!

A last minute trip to NYC and a late night dinner in Little Italy! These are the nights that memories are made!

Avoid Single Mom Burnout Tip #10 Don’t be Desperate for A Relationship

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Everyone deserves happiness, companionship and love. Divorce and separation are devastating and it can scar us to our core. Each of us handles it differently. Some of us stay clear  from relationships and some of us run towards them jumping in feet first ready to start all over again. I’m not judging either of these approaches, but I do think any extreme is never a good thing. One of the quickest ways to burnout is to be desperate for a relationship. Desperation causes people to settle, push  priorities to the side, and allow all of your energy to be consumed in a relationship. Desperation doesn’t look good on anyone and it is extremely unhealthy. There is no denying that relationships can be beautiful and if you desire one in your life than by all means pray for God to bring the right person in your life and your family’s life. When we get swept away into a romance it is very easy to put blinders on and to lose sight of what God wants for us. He has the perfect plan already laid out whether it includes you being in a relationship or being single.

Are your rushing through you season of singleness? Before you dart toward the exit, think about these few things:

  1. Have You Prayed About This Season? Have you asked God to reveal what is His will for this season in your life? There may be things that God specifically wants you to focus on and if you rush through you may miss out on some vital plans that God has for your life.

  2. Have You Embraced This Season? Being single can be a gift because it give you the freedom and time to get to know yourself, to think about what you want and don’t want, to reevaluate your approach and patterns in relationships and your expectations. It is also a time to develop your gifts to fine tune them and to manifest them to serve and glorify God.

  3. Is This Season Specifically Reserved for Family? This may be a time to focus heavily on your family, which I’m sure you always do, however if you are newly single you and your family are undergoing a huge transformation. This is the time to navigate and pray through this restructuring so that you can build a loving and positive experience through a difficult situation.

If you happen to be dating or really are ‘ready to move forward, think about the meaning of desperate. It means,         “having a great need or desire for something, or feeling hopeless, trying in despair or when everything else has failed; having little hope of success.

As you embark on the dating scene ask yourself if any of these words or feelings resonate with you. If they do the relationship you are seeking isn’t with another human being it is with God. You are trying to feel a void that will never be filled from any earthly relationship. You can’t be sustained or fulfilled from the companionship of another person if you aren’t first completed through Christ.

If you are in a relationship, don’t conform to being someone your not. Stay whole and stand in who you are in Christ. For example, if you attend church every Sunday and the person you’re dating doesn’t go to church, don’t stop going to church. If your desire is to have a successful relationship keep God first and don’t change your life around to please someone else. If you’re dating and you find yourself stressed, strained,  or evolving into a person you don’t recognize this may not be the right time or the right person. Chasing after someone is draining and exhausting. It isn’t your job to change anyone so don’t wear yourself out!

You are a beautiful woman who deserves God’s absolute best so trust in Him to pick your mate. If you want a relationship go to your heavenly husband! Then pray for God to bring you who He designed for you. A partner ha will love, respect and honor you and your children along with your family dynamics. Do it the right way! Stay faithful and don’t do it on your own, God’s choice for you will always be the right one.  Embrace, learn and grown from the season God has you in at this minute. Know that  you will be fine with or without a relationship and when it is the right time God will intervene.