Money, Money, Money,…Do you hear me singing that line? Remember that song? Or maybe I’m showing my age. In any case… Ah, money it can give us great pain or great gain. One of the biggest stressors I hear from single moms is that they are stressed about either the lack of money, debt, or saving money. I have had and still have my fair share of struggles with the good old American dollar. What I’ve come to realize is that for me not to get so burned out about money, it is important to develop a relationship with money. I know it may sound a little weird, but whether you know it or not, you’ve been in a relationship with money practically your whole life! We all have a belief system surrounding money and it has impacted on how we earn money, save money, invest money, ask for money and enjoy money! If you’re experiencing a difficult time financially, examine what you believe about money. Get knowledgeable about your relationship with money and decide if it needs to evolve.
God knew that money would be tricky and that is why the Bible talks a lot about money and how to be a good steward of money. This is where our relationship has its foundation. First, we need to look at what God says about money, then we need to look at our belief system surrounding money, and then prayerfully make changes to our relationship with money and get brutally honest with ourselves on how we want to earn, save, ask, invest and enjoy money!
In my upcoming e-Book, 15 Tips on Avoiding Single Mom Burnout, I discuss a few tips that can help you avoid burnout when it comes to money! One tip is to create an additional source of income. You may be thinking, sure that would be great except I’m tapped out with one job! Listen, you creative beautiful being you have an unlimited potential to be abundant because you are God’s design. Think outside the box and invest in your passion, tap into your resources! A multiple source of income will give you some cushion and more peace of mind! Other tips I’ll discuss are saving, child support, ways to become knowledgeable about your money and more.
One of the tips in my Ebook “15 Tips to Avoid Single Mom Burnout,’ that can have a significant and transforming impact on your life is forgiveness . Be generous with forgiveness to others and yourself. Living a life without forgiveness keeps you stuck in the hurting place, but doesn’t move you forward to the healing place. Forgiveness isn’t always easy, in fact it may be one of the most difficult things you’ll ever have to do, but it will allow you to walk through the next door in life and shut the one behind you. The key word is behind…when you hold onto hurt, anger and wrongdoing you are staying behind in a place that no longer fits who you are in the present! Sometimes the hurt and trauma is so deep that you can’t forgive on your own, that the only way it can happen is through God . Remember this, God forgave us so who are we not to forgive others? Maybe you’re exhausted because you can’t forgive yourself. Sweet sister, please, please, please know that there is nothing you did or will ever do that the love and grace of Jesus will not cover! Forgive yourself because God has already done so! Free yourself and others with generous forgiveness and live your best life.
We can live either by faith or by fear ! One is life thwarting and the other is life-givingOne allows you to rest in the assurance that God has a plan for you that is better and more beautiful than you could have ever dreamed up for yourself! Fear robs you from living out God’s plan for your life. Fear keeps your gifts, talents and abilities under wraps. Fear keeps you living in a paralyzed state of doubt and anxiety . Fear snatches away your dreams and tells you that you’re not good enough, smart enough, and that amazing things happen to other people not you! Faith gives you Christ filled courage and gives you the confidence to step out in the unknown, expecting God’s best even in the midst of obstacles. It’s your choice whether you will live in faith or fear. Make the choice that leads to being an active participant in life and not an observer full of potential that lies dormant and stops you from living authentically!
Timeouts are not just for toddlers! Listen, kids stretch your patience like a gumby doll. Sometimes it’s just all too much right? The whining, the crying the back talk (if you have teens you get me), the constant running around, homework, housework, work-work, and everything else in between can seriously make you lose it. It’s okay you are only human and sometimes you just need to scream in a pillow, or just be alone for a minute. Or maybe you’ve already had enough and blew up, and everyone is looking at you like you lost your mind. It is time to put yourself in a time out! Why do we put toddlers in a timeout? Because it helps them to calm down. They may fight it at first, but usually after a few minutes, they stop crying, are breathing normally and have turned back into the sweet cherub you know and love. They may even say sorry in that adorable voice that makes your heart melt. Why? They had a moment to just sit and deal with their emotions. We need that moment every once in a while to regain some peace and restore our sanity!
In my e-Book, “15 Tips to Avoid Single Mom Burnout,” I give practical tips on finding ways to give yourself a timeout regardless of the age of your children. One of my favorite time outs, is simply sitting in the car in complete silence. That time is delicious! Finding a moment to breathe will prevent blow-ups and will save you from regrets that come when mom is burned out!
There are a lot of unfair stereotypes, judgments and expectations on single moms, that are simply untrue. It is easy to get caught up into what others think about you. I want you to use discretion about who you allow to speak into your life. You are not a statistic and you are not in a box. I know many single moms who do not resemble this downtrodden struggling caricature of a false narrative. Is life hard at times? Heck yeah! And it’s hard for moms who are married, for single dads, and everyone else on earth! Single parents do face certain issues that are unique to their circumstances, but that doesn’t justify the labels that are thrust upon single moms.
Listen, you are a unique child of God! You are not a statistic and you’re identity is not in your marital status it is in Christ. You are fully equipped to create and live the life you love. Other people don’t have the right or the power to create your narrative, unless you allow them. When you allow other’s expectations, judgments and stereotypes to seep into your mind, you create feelings of inadequacy in yourself. You can start to believe and act in a way that fulfills those stereotype and you my friend are too smart for that! Your book has many chapters to fill, write them with God and the vision you have for your life in mind!
In my upcoming eBook, “15 Tips to Avoid Single Mom Burnout,” I will hit upon 4 points that will help you to create your narrative on your terms!