I don’t know about you, but I am one cranky mom when I am sleep deprived. The quickest way for single moms or any mom to burnout is to skimp out on getting sleep. In my upcoming e-Book, “15 Tips to Avoid Single Mom Burnout,” one of the tips is to nurture your temple physically, spiritually, and mentally.
Listen ladies, Jesus rested, so why do you think you can keep going without getting the z’s you need? I’m a night owl, so sleep doesn’t always come easy for me, so I have to be super intentional. When I get a good 7-8 hours of sleep I’m more focused, patient, and alert. Sleep affects our quality of life, so don’t sleep on sleeping!
Check out my 7 out of 10 tips that I discuss in the book to help you get your sleep on!
Psalm 42:1 “As the deer pants for streams of water, so my soul pants for you, my God.”
The first tip in my upcoming eBook to Avoid Single Mom Burnout is to “Schedule a Daily Date with God!“ The world is a tough contender! It will knock you out of the ring with a punch you never saw coming. I’m sure you’ve had a few TKO’s in your life, right? You’re going about your business and bam, you get sucker punched! It makes me think about the movie Rocky. Poor Rock, bloodied, and bent over in the corner with Mickey wiping his face and squirting water into his mouth. That’s us after a tough bout with the world! We are left parched, bruised and spiritually dehydrated.
It’s tempting to drink the water the world offers. The enemy wants to keep you thirsty! It is all in Satan’s plan. You make a choice to follow the enemy’s plan instead of God’s plan when you start drinking anything that looks good! Don’t be fooled, by its empty promises it will never fulfill you like God’s living water. The satisfaction you receive from the world’s water is temporary. It may taste good, for awhile, but I promise you it will leave you thirstier than before. Only God is the permanent solution to spiritual dehydration.
Suffering From Spiritual Dehydration?
Do you feel hopeless? Do you feel spiritually lost? Is your faith floundering? Are you questioning your purpose? Do you feel a loss of joy? Does God seem far away from you? If you answered yes, you have the classic symptoms of spiritual dehydration.
Health experts suggest drinking a glass of water in the morning to rehydrate. But, if you’re suffering from spiritual dehydration, it will take more than water to replenish your spirit! You need a big gulp of God’s word to kick start your day! We need to nourish ourselves with the word of God on a daily basis. We need to be insatiable when it comes to drinking in the scriptures.
God’s word is our shelter, armor, blueprint for life and a place of refuge from the storms. Scriptures guides and reminds us that God is present. He is alive and loves us in all our imperfections. The word is living and breathing and gives us life, so drink it in! Be like the deer panting near the water, pant for the water that feeds your soul. Be intentional about scheduling a date with God and drinking him in, so that your light continues to shine and your faith is continually renewed.
Stinking thinking is a beast! When one negative thought snowballs into another, and another, it is easy to fall into a downward spiral. Last week, it was though I was living in a show called the battle for my mind! The negative thoughts and self talk were so loud that all I could see was where I was failing. I was falling into the enemy’s trap! Don’t you know that the first place Satan tries to infiltrate is our mind? If he can snag space there, he can start to control our actions.
One of the tips in my upcoming, eBook, ““15 Tips to Avoid Single Mom Burnout,” is ‘Evict Stinking Thinking.’ When our mind is flooded with self sabotaging thoughts it’s impossible to be present and focus on our blessings. If all we see is the negative it renders us absolutely useless.
Paul gives us the perfect prescription in Philippians 4:8 on how we should think and what we should think about . In my book we take a look at what the enemy wants us to focus on in comparison to how Paul instructs us to think. Stinking thinking is exhausting and is a primary cause for burnout. It takes energy to treat ourselves badly! Stinking thinking are the chains that keep you from pursuing your dreams and you are too fabulous for that ladies!
A juicy podcast gives me life! I love, love, love listening to podcasts whether I am walking, cleaning, at the gym, driving, before bed, or just chilling. My criteria for a slamming podcast is that it inspires, encourage and educates me in some form. I wholeheartedly believe that listening to people who motivate you to live your best life are a straight up blessing!
So I’m going to share with you some of my favorite podcasts, and totally encourage you to check them out! Here are my favorite podcasts in no particular order.
The Goal Digger, Jenna Kutcher: If you have any desire to start your own business, listen to Jenna. Her podcasts is full of value for the budding and seasoned entrepreneur. Learn about the importance of email lists, Instagram, course creation and so much more!
Modern Homemakers: I’ve been listening to Donna Otto for at least 10 years and she holds a special place in my heart. She literally shaped the way in which I view my home and life as a mom. Her podcast topics center around God, marriage, family, and homemaking. Definitely cozy up to Donna and soak in her wisdom, you will be totally blessed!
Myelin & Melanin: This podcast is special because one of my dear friends Dawn Morgan and Daana Townsend share their musings on life and Multiple Sclerosis. I know Dawn personally and she is AMAZING woman and single mom to an insanely talented son! Read her guest poston my blog and tune into her podcast.
Communicator Academy: Interested in telling your story or putting pen to paper? Kathi Lipp and Michelle Cushatt will give you invaluable information that will catapult you to making that first step in pursuing your writing or speaking career.
Charles Stanley: When I want to hear the word, I always turn to Charles Stanley. His InTouch podcast will feed your spirit and be a blessing in your day.
Tony Evans: I listen to Tony Evans almost daily. His sermons make me want to dive deeper into the Bible, and I almost always find myself listening to an episode more than once.
Clutter Free Academy: My girl Kathi Lipp helps you to clear the clutter out of your life, whether it is physical, emotional or spiritual. I was an intern for Kathi and I became a big fan of this podcast that gives practical information you can use on a daily. She also has some great giveaways!
National Gallery of Art Podcasts: I love art and since I live close to DC, I am a frequent visitor to the NGA. I’ve attended lectures, tours, openings and I can’t get enough! If you like art, check out this podcast and feed the artist in you!
These are just the podcasts I listen to most often, however, I’m always searching for awesome podcasts! What podcast can you not go a day without? Spill the beans! Share your favorite podcasts in the comments!
Don’t allow people’s opinion about your life, dreams or vision to shape your narrative! Too often we give people power they don’t deserve in our lives. You get to write the pages of your story, and create the life that matches your vision!
Burnout comes when we choose to live against your grain. I say choose, because it is a choice. If we choose to permit people’s opinions to outweigh our faith, our belief in ourselves and God’s purpose for us.
You were born to bloom! God has planted the seeds in your heart and mind, all you need to do is to nurture them into fruition! Don’t allow anyone to stop your growth! In my upcoming eBook, “15 Tips to Avoid Single Mom Burnout,” I will dive into 4 strategies that will help you create your own narrative. You deserve to live out the best version of your life, don’t be afraid to grab the pen and write the greatest story ever!
One of Tips in my eBook, “15 Tips to Avoid Single Mom Burnout,” is to Create Your Own Narrative. Nothing is more exhausting and burns you out more than when you know in your heart that you’re living a narrative that doesn’t fit the amazing person you are ladies! One of the ways we sabotage living the life we love is by rereading the last line of our old chapters over and over again. Refusing to turn the page of an old chapter robs you of being fully engaged in the present.
Ask yourself these questions, are you stuck in an old chapter that’s keeping you from moving forward? Honor your past, forgive yourself if necessary, let go of regret and turn the page!
God wants to use your past to refine your faith, and bring you closer to him! He wants you to learn the lessons and apply them to his purpose for you.
What matters is today…what are you doing this moment that contributes to creating the narrative you desire? What are you holding onto that doesn’t serve you? When we feed off regret, mistakes, and refuse to forgive ourselves or others it weighs us down and eventually that weight makes it impossible for us to take action in a positive way! Keep old chapters in their proper perspective so that you can keep your vision in clear focus
During this Holy Week, I can’t help but to reflect on the ultimate sacrifice and love of God… the crucifixion of Christ. Christ who was sinless, died for our sins, to give us undeserved forgiveness and to save our souls. There is not better friend than the one we have in Jesus. I think about this absolute truth when I think of suffering. When we are in a season of suffering it’s so easy to be suffocated under the weight of hopelessness. The feeling that there is no ending is sight. But, this scripture in Peter reminds us that God restores.
We were lost and God gave us the opportunity to be restored through death of Christ. Through every season of suffering you can count on God bringing forth a season of restoration. When restoration from the Lord occurs it is in some ways greater than our suffering. Not to belittle loss or suffering, but it brings about a strength in our faith that I believe God specifically uses for his glory. When you’ve endured a particularly difficult season, and God restores you, and makes you steadfast and firm in a new season, you have a testimony to share.
Through your suffering and restoration you can bring hope to another one of God’s children. Never think that your suffering isn’t connected to a bigger purpose. As children of God we are in community and connection with the body of Christ. Your experience in suffering and restoration are significant and purposeful. Rest assure there is nothing God can not restore and use for his plan. If you have any doubt, think about Jesus dying on the cross for you, he was steadfast then and he is steadfast now, by your side always.
Please take a moment to preview all 15 Tips and a little more of my upcoming eBook, “15 Tips to Avoid Single Mom Burnout.” Feel free to share the link! You can also click this link for the preview Thank you and hope you enjoy the preview!
I’m sure your daily to do list is a mile long and a big chunk of it consists of what you need to do for your kids, such as helping with homework, driving them to practices, getting lunches ready, scheduling doctor appointments, and well, you know the drill. We can get so wrapped up into the doing that we miss the opportunity to just be present. It goes back to that super single mom syndrome, of not only doing it all but doing it perfectly, because hey we got this under control, right? Well, it may appear that way, but this is an surefire way to get totally burned out. Always thinking about what you need to do robs you from the gift of being present. Sure, you made it to your kid’s recital, but if your mind is preoccupied with the new leotard, or cleats you need to buy for the kids, or the dentist appointment you forgot to schedule, or a million other things, then you are not there. Little Suzy is on stage dancing her toes off and although your eyes are watching, your mind is a million miles away.
In a blink of an eye it’s over and your onto the next thing. Listen, you show up and that’s half the battle, but if you’re going to be there, why not savor the time? You deserve better, and frankly so do your kids.
Mary and Martha were two sisters who no doubt loved Jesus and desired to honor him, they just went about it in two different ways. Martha was busy with the preparations. Can’t you can almost see her sweating over the meal she was preparing, worrying about whether it would fit for Jesus? Mary gets a bum rap, but I believe her intentions were good. She was getting it done, checking off those boxes, to ensure that things were on point for Jesus!
Mary on the other hand wasn’t so concerned about the happenings in the kitchen. The heart of her reaction to Jesus’ arrival was not in the physical preparations, but in the spiritual and emotional. She was present. She sat at his feet and gave him her undivided attention. I bet when Martha saw her sitting down, basking in the glow of Jesus, she was hot! Here she was working her fingers to the bone to prepare a meal for Jesus and there was Mary slacking off. Was Mary really just given Martha the shaft? Absolutely not! But, we can certainly understand how Martha could feel a bit annoyed. Both women were doing the right thing…they were serving Jesus. But one decided to just be while the other decided to do. Mary’s choice gave her the opportunity to be in communion with Jesus, the one thing that was needful.
I always felt bad for Martha, because I understand her heart. I know how it is getting so caught up in the preparation, trying to make everything look perfect, and then feeling as though it really isn’t appreciated. Of course Jesus appreciated Martha’s efforts, but I think he was gently saying…stop being troubled by the things that are temporary and be present for the things that are of real value.
I’m not comparing our kids with Jesus, but I think moms can easily fall into a Martha kind of parenting when we are too consumed with prioritizing our duties, and not our relationship with our kids. Both approaches have the best intentions, but there needs to be a balance.
When we our kids become another check mark on our to do list, life as a mom starts to morph into series of routine chores. We become preoccupied with performance, not theirs but ours. The judgment and pressure on moms to do everything, be everywhere and do it well is ridiculous! It is what society expects and it has somehow creeped into our own belief system. For example, at my daughter’s school there are room moms, but not room dads. Not only is this the norm, but the school wouldn’t dream of asking dads to do something they consider to be the mom’s role. We are expected to show up and men are not held to the same standard. When we do so no, we are made to feel guilty!
The no means we don’t care, or can’t be bothered, or aren’t involved! It is so stinking unfair! So, don’t be hard on yourself if you struggle with the performance thing, because to some degree it is what we are groomed to do. Has it helped us? No! It’s just made us burned out, stressed, and exhausted. Not to mention we hold ourselves captive to an impossible standard.
Children are not tasks, they are human beings who crave a genuine relationship with their mom and on the flipside we desire the same. When that desire isn’t being satisfied, we slip into a rabbit hole of just going through the motions of being a mom. Look, there are seasons, when we are just happy to get through the day, with everyone fed and still breathing. That’s life, it happens and you may need to focus on the task at hand. However, if this season is a lifestyle it’s probably time to try a different way.
I get frustrated and burned out when I feel like my only purpose is to pay bills and run errands. When I start to feel like just an Uber driver or get caught up into making sure everything is working perfectly, it makes me feel further away from my daughter. It’s like my role as mom has been diminished. If I look at her as a check box on a long list of things to do, then I’m not giving our relationship, the dignity or respect it deserves. That to do list may be filled with items that relate to her, but they are not her. I can take care of daily to do’s, but am I taking care of the person, or the relationship? This is a key question to ask ourselves. In my heart when I know that I’m putting more emphasis on the stuff than her, it makes feel awful, which in turn makes me incredibly hard on myself.
Life is too short and too uncertain to allow moments to slip away. When you are gone from this earth, your children will cherish the relationship and the memories you created. Sure, they’ll remember that mom juggled a million and things and totally rocked, but nothing will replace the memory of you being present and engaged. Give yourself permission to stray from the to do list, and spend quality time with your kids. Creating memories will last way longer than making sure dinner is on the table at precisely 6:00 pm. You may have to run a tight ship, but that doesn’t mean you can’t play hard, laugh a lot, and enjoy one another’s company. I know you’re trying to keep all the wheels turning, but don’t get run over by them! Enjoy the ride! You are a gift to each other, so make sure you take the time to unwrap all the delightful surprises that come with your family.
In my upcoming eBook, “15 Tips to Avoid Single Mom Burnout,” I’ll give you practical tips on how you can be a little less Martha and a little more Mary!
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