There are days when the world’s noise never seems to cease. But, in the midst of all that noise is our Shepherd who quiets our minds and hearts. He leads us in abundant, vibrant pastures near still water offering our weary souls rest. He allows us to drink from the overflowing cup of living water, refreshing our soul and giving us blessed assurance as we walk in this ever-changing world. How blessed are we that we lack absolutely nothing.
I messed up. Like really messed up. It’s the type of mess up that makes me ashamed of myself and makes me question who I am as a Christian and if there isn’t some secret fleshy part of me that still is able to dip my toe into the darkness. It’s the kind of screw up that made me feel completely unworthy to partake in communion. It’s in these messy fleshy moments that I’m reminded how desperately I need my Savior because if left to my own devises I surely would fail. Today, Resurrection Day holds even more significance to me as I grapple with my shortcomings. I am so humbled and grateful that Jesus bore my sins on that cross in Golgotha. He loved me and took me as I am…a sinner and wrapped me in his grace, forgiveness, love and led me out of darkness onto a path of light.
Today, as I sat in tears in church he tenderly reminded me that this is why he died for me. He died for my messiness, my mistakes, my sin, my disobedience and he covered me with his blood and his grace. There is no sin big enough that can take his love away for me. I love how God gently teaches us even when we deserve his wrath. My lesson came when the Lord rolled back the curtain. He gave me a glimpse into my past, the pain, the shame and the emptiness of living in a world that I outgrew through the love of Christ and asked, “Do you really want to go back?” The answer in my spirit was a resounding no. Just like a forgiving Father he restored me. He stripped away the guilt and shame and allowed me to rest in him fully and securely. The ultimate sacrifice on cross gave me the ultimate freedom. Thank you, thank you, thank you Jesus!
Do you stay awake at night wondering how on earth you’re going to pay the mortgage, put gas in the car, buy groceries? I won’t tell you your concerns aren’t valid, because I’m a mom and not being able to provide for my daughter is one of my biggest fears. But, time and time again God has proven to be faithful. Friends, when I think of how God has provided for myself and my daughter I am brought to my knees in praise.
I know single moms who are struggling to provide for their kids, that are frustrated that the responsibility is unfairly put squarely on their shoulders, and are exhausted from the struggle. Romans 8:32 is a reminder that there is not a thing that God would not do for you! God spared his son for us, how many of us could spare our children for anyone? I couldn’t! His love was magnified for us when he sent Jesus, an innocent lamb into the hands of the world to be tormented, humiliated and crucified to save us from our sins because God loved you and I so much. When God’s hand is in it, nothing can get in his way of his will for your life. Let me just give you a couple of personal examples:
- I had two outstanding bills (a loan and tuition) that were costing me over $800 a month that was financially bleeding me dry. Out of nowhere, my mother decided to pay them off for me because she happened to have some extra money. This was total of over $2,000!
- A few years ago I was laid off from a job. I got in my car, the phone rang and it was for an interview. I got the job and it was a telecommuting position that allowed me to stay at home, something that had been on my heart for over 5 years.
- My daughter was accepted to a new private school and I wasn’t sure how I would pay for the tuition. I was given an extremely generous financial aid package.
These are only three of the numerous examples of God stepping in and taking care of me. I could go on and on about God’s awesome provision in my life. If you’re struggling through a barren season be assured that God’s grace is sufficient. You don’t have to be overcome by fear. God is in control and he loves you more than you can imagine. Rewind back the tape of your life and take an inventory of how God’s provision has shown up. You will be humbled and in awe of his goodness. Maybe he showed up in the form of another person’s generosity, in an unexplained gift, however God’s provision showed up know that’s what God does for us. Sweet sister when you place your faith in God instead of fear you will never be disappointed.