Coparenting can be rough, here are 10 Tips on Coparenting that have worked for me. Also, included is a resource page. Hope you find it helpful!
We’re finished with spring break and in a few short weeks, summer will arrive in all its glory! Single moms may find summer break and co-parenting a little challenging for several reason. One, you miss your kids. Two, you have to reconfigure schedules. Three, you want to maximize the time you have with your kids. So, here are a few co-parenting tips that will make this summer a little bit easier!
- Confirm dates in May. Some of you may have specific dates on when you’re sharing the summer. If not, I suggest you do it by next month. The more time and notice you give one another the less stress you’ll have with the transition. If your kid’s dad has 4 weeks in the summer, the quicker you know which dates the better prepared you’ll be for the months ahead. It’s okay to send a friendly reminder if you don’t have dates in the works.
- Take Into Consideration Any Camps or Special Programs Your Children Will Attend: For example, if your child is enrolled in a specific dance camp or football camp, make sure the other parent knows those dates in advance so that they can plan around it or make appropriate arrangements with you for pick up and drop off.
- Communicate With The Kids About the Summer Schedule: Kids like to know where they will be and what they’ll be doing during the summer. Keep them abreast of the schedule and get their input (especially if they are older) on how they’d like to spend summer. Ultimately, parents have to work around each other’s schedule, but it’s so important to give your kids a voice.
- Create a Keep In Touch Schedule: Depending on the age of your kids and the circumstances, keeping in touch when they are away is important for everyone. Most parents won’t make a big deal about this, but if it has been an issue in the past, talk to your kid’s father and figure out what works best for your kids.
- Exchange Important Information: Make sure that you exchange phone numbers, insurance cards, and anything else that both parents should have access to for the kids.
- Confirm Summer Holiday Plans: Take into consideration when you’re planning the summer the holidays, such as the 4th of July, Labor Day and Father’s Day. Depending on how you share holidays this may be something to consider when planning out the summer schedule.
- Stay Positive! It’s hard to be without our kids, even if it’s a day. But, we want them to happy and comfortable. Staying positive and being excited for their time with dad will encourage them to have a good time. It’s okay for them to know that you’ll miss them, but you know that they will have a great vacation as well!
- Plan a Little Fun for Yourself: This is an opportune time to get in some you time! Explore a new hobby, read a juicy book, take a drive to a new city, hang out with girlfriends and try to enjoy the free space. You deserve it!
Holidays can be complex when you’re co-parenting, but if you keep the lines of communication open and boundaries in place you will get through it. What is most important is that your kids enjoy their holiday, feel loved, and spend time with their parents with as little confusion as possible.
Here are my 5 Tips on Keeping Co-parenting During the Holidays Civil and Happy!
- Confirm Plans with the Other Parent: Many parents have a court-appointed schedule in place for the holidays which lays out the specifics of pick up and drop off times. If you don’t have an order, it’s important to communicate with your child’s parent the days your child will spend with them for the holiday, the time they will pick them up, and return them home. I suggest writing the schedule in an email and then communicating a week before to confirm so there won’t be any surprises or miscommunication.
- Stick to the Schedule: Consistency is so important when you share the holidays. Listen, things happen that can be out of our control, but try to stick to the structure you have in place. Kids won’t feel shuffled around, instead they will feel secure if they know the plan.
- Keep Lines of Communication Open with Your Kids: Communicating with your kids about the holiday schedule shows that you respect them. Let them know at least a month ahead of time who they will be with during the holiday and how the time will be split. This is especially important with very young children. In my experience kids are pretty adaptable as long as you communicate clearly and honestly with them.
- Plan in Advance: Make the transition as simple and stress-free as possible. If they’re packing a bag, make sure they have everything they need at least a few days in advance. If you want to celebrate with them, do it a couple days before they leave. Another, thing you may want to do in advance is have them call their relatives before they leave if they won’t be able to talk to them on the actual holiday. A little preparation goes a long way in co-parenting.
- Put Your Best Foot Forward: Holidays are highly emotional and potentially stressful times. If you’re in a good place with your children’s father that is great! But, the reality is for many this is a complex relationship. I can’t stress enough how important it is to the well-being of your children to set aside differences during the holiday transition so they feel comfortable about leaving with the other parent. A kind word and a smile won’t kill you. If you’re the parent who has your child during the holiday, encourage them to call the other parent and if possible you may even want to offer a day for them to spend some time together.
The best thing you can do is always put your kids first and do what is best for them. The cooperation and kindness you show to your child’s dad is the biggest gift you can give them!