Avoid Single Mom Burnout Tip #9 NO Stinking Thinking

Don’t be a Peppy Le Pew

Years ago I knew an older gentleman who would say, “Girl you can’t get anywhere in life if you’re stinking thinking.” I used to laugh at all his hilarious sayings because he was quite a character, but this particular phrase stuck with me all these years. Stinking thinking are those negative thoughts that wreak havoc on your mind. It is that nagging voice that won’t go away and will drain you from any potential joy that awaits you either in the present or in the future. If you want to be completely burned out then give into stinking thinking. Now, I know we’re human and sometimes life just sucks, right? There are some days, weeks, months and even years that we wish we could skip over because they were just darn right hard. But, stinking thinking only makes a hard situation harder!

Paul knew about stinking thinking. He may not have called it that in those terms, but I believe he knew that our thoughts have an incredible influence on our actions. In Philippians 4:8 he tells us, “Finally brother whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure,  whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable,-if anything is excellent or praiseworthy think about those things.” What he doesn’t say is dwell in your past, think about how many times you’ve been rejected and only reflect on the negative crummy things in your life! No, he tells us to focus on what is positive and good!If we don’t it is easy to slide down the rabbit hole very quickly. Stinking thinking not only affects you it is contagious and has an impact on everyone you’re around including your kids. Here are a couple of tips to stop the ‘Stinking Thinking’:

  1. Pray– This is your first line of defense. Negative thoughts are straight from the enemy not from God. God knows all the good he has in store for you and he doesn’t want you to spend time listening to the enemy. As soon as a negative thought enters your head ask God to take them away. If you’re focused on talking with God you negate the dark energy and replace it with light.
  2. Replace the Negative Thought with a Positive Thought– If you’re thinking about how you hate your job, start thinking about what your job affords you to do, like take care of your family or live in your house. With every negative thought that creeps up combat it with good one. (Write a grateful list if you need help with this one)
  3. Keep Your Distance from Negative Energy Draining People– We all know those people who only see the downside to everything. They are energy drainers and they are contagious. Listen single moms, please watch out for those friends who constantly complain about their ex. It is okay to vent but there is a difference between venting and constantly complaining or being obsessed. Next thing you know you may start getting angry with your ex about things that don’t even matter anymore. The old saying misery loves company is still alive and very much true!
  4. Stay Present– Many times negative thoughts derive from our past. The past is the past, you can’t change it, but you can learn from it and it doesn’t have to effect your future. If you’re stuck in the past you’ll be stuck in stinking thinking. Make peace with the people or situations in your life that have hurt you and forgive yourself for your mistakes and forgive others too, so you can move on. This isn’t always quick and simple, but it is worth working towards.
  5. Don’t Focus on the Problem Focus on the Solution– We can mull over a problem forever, but if we focus only on the problem and not the solution nothing can be resolved. Don’t become so stuck in an issue you’re facing that it overcomes your mind and consumes you. Instead redirect your anxiety into finding a positive solution.
  6. Seek Goodness!– Why do we look for the bad? Instead look for the good in every situation. Sometimes you have to dig deep, but go ahead and dig!
  7. Guard Your Mind- The world is full of pollution (this is a kinder term for what I really think) We are bombarded with negative images, commentary and statistics at every corner. Just watching the news can make you never want to leave your home again! You have a choice in what you decide to tune into. I’m not just talking about television or radio, I’m speaking about the conversation at the water cooler  or the gossiping neighbor next door, listen you don’t have to tune in! Keep your mind as holy and pure as you can and stinking thinking will get booted out.

The mind is a terrible thing to waste especially on stinking thinking. God wants our thoughts to be consumed by him and his love for us, take time every day to do that and you will be recharged and refreshed!

Avoid Single Mom Burnout Tip #3

Tip #3 Don’t Be a Yes Girl
I don’t know about you, but sometimes I find myself being a yes girl. “Yes, I’ll volunteer for art, sure, I’ll volunteer for this church committee,  of course I can commit to helping out with a class party, I can do it!” I have found myself saying yes only to sometimes regret it or commit to do so much that I’m burnt out and mentally exhausted which only makes me crabby and unproductive. I think some it comes from wanting to overcompensate especially when it comes to volunteering for Anya’s school or activities. I have no one to blame, but the yes girl in me. Although I sincerely enjoy volunteering and especially where Anya is involved I had to admit to myself that it was too much. I am busy and not just with work, but with life in general. If I overcommit then nothing is going to get done and if it is I’ll be left frazzled. Knowing your limits and knowing when to say no is not a bad thing it is a way for you to be honest with yourself and others and lovingly letting them know that you can’t do something.If you say yes to everything you are setting yourself up for frustration. For example, I volunteered last year to do the school newsletter. It was great and I enjoyed getting it out every week, but I was also working, serving on the board of the school, and volunteering with art. When the end of the year came and someone else was interested in helping I knew it was time to hand it over and that was me knowing my limits and when to let go. Learn to say yes to those things that are a priority in your life and that are things you actually want to do and won’t exhaust you. Take a look at the things you are currently doing and what priority they take in your life. Are you happy doing it? If not then maybe it is time to say no.

We have a lot going on and spreading yourself to thin by saying yes to everything isn’t going to make for a happy mom. Saying no is fine! I noticed that some moms feel like they have a duty to say yes to every carpool, every volunteer opportunity and every request that comes there way. Maybe it’s is a way to show that you are just as involved as any parent. Don’t worry about appearances and scratch that thought out of your head. Say yes when you want to say yes and say no when you want to say no, you’ll be happier for doing so and won’t feel resentment when you are volunteering or saying yes. You don’t have to juggle a hundred balls in the air, give yourself peace by saying no sometimes.