I messed up. Like really messed up. It’s the type of mess up that makes me ashamed of myself and makes me question who I am as a Christian and if there isn’t some secret fleshy part of me that still is able to dip my toe into the darkness. It’s the kind of screw up that made me feel completely unworthy to partake in communion. It’s in these messy fleshy moments that I’m reminded how desperately I need my Savior because if left to my own devises I surely would fail. Today, Resurrection Day holds even more significance to me as I grapple with my shortcomings. I am so humbled and grateful that Jesus bore my sins on that cross in Golgotha. He loved me and took me as I am…a sinner and wrapped me in his grace, forgiveness, love and led me out of darkness onto a path of light.
Today, as I sat in tears in church he tenderly reminded me that this is why he died for me. He died for my messiness, my mistakes, my sin, my disobedience and he covered me with his blood and his grace. There is no sin big enough that can take his love away for me. I love how God gently teaches us even when we deserve his wrath. My lesson came when the Lord rolled back the curtain. He gave me a glimpse into my past, the pain, the shame and the emptiness of living in a world that I outgrew through the love of Christ and asked, “Do you really want to go back?” The answer in my spirit was a resounding no. Just like a forgiving Father he restored me. He stripped away the guilt and shame and allowed me to rest in him fully and securely. The ultimate sacrifice on cross gave me the ultimate freedom. Thank you, thank you, thank you Jesus!