Avoid the Single Mom Burnout Tip #2

Tip # 2 Don’t Constantly Complain About or Bad Mouth The Father of Your Children
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The father-child bond is still important, we should still foster it when we can.

There is no faster way to fall into a rabbit hole of negativity and burnout than constantly complaining or bad mouthing your children’s father. There is a verse in the bible that talks about how worrying never changes anything, well neither does complaining or bad mouthing it only keeps that bad energy circulating and festering inside of your heart. Burnout happens when we are exhausted, depressed, angry, sad, and a host of other draining emotions. If you’re constantly angry or harboring bitterness you are keeping yourself stuck in a no win situation. I’m not implying that you shouldn’t vent or neatly tuck away all your emotions  because that is simply denial. There is obviously a reason you aren’t in a union any longer so all the things that contributed to the split are most likely still lingering. He may drive you crazy because of a number of reasons, but complaining about it won’t change his actions. If his actions are negatively impacting your children, of course you should address it with him. Will it change? Maybe, or maybe not, you can only be responsible for yourself and what you put out there.
If you’ve ever been in the company of women who constantly complain about their ex it is exhausting. You should be able to talk to your friends, but when it is all you talk about it actually makes you dig in your memory conjuring up all the bad times and next thing you know you’re reliving events from the past that are getting you mad all over again! There is enough sadness and pain when you go through a separation and if you’re able to reach a place of healing in any area, try to focus on that which will give you peace and celebrate that victory, regardless of how small it may be… it matters. We all have our faults, and I’m not trying to minimize anyone’s situation, but wellbeing comes from a place of peace, respect, and kindness. Think about it, do you ever feel good after an ugly rant? Most likely not. There is a difference between a rant and talking about your feelings without all the yucky name calling and dirt slinging. This isn’t always easy, emotions run high because we’ve had a child with this person, but we can either take the high road or stay in the gutter.
Don’t spend your day consumed with anger. If you can’t overcome the negative feelings, pray for healing, and seek godly council. Be careful of others in the same boat who want to only keep the conversation to berate their ex, remember misery loves company.  Life is too short to let bitterness reside in our heart. Dare I say maybe you can start a new relationship with this person, different but better in some ways? I pray so :)
*Try praying for your children’s father for 30 days, you’ll be surprised of the outcome!

Comments

  1. says

    This is spot on, Chere. Instead of badmouthing anyone at all, perhaps focusing one’s efforts on raising their child is the better option. This would help the child and the mother as well. Indeed, if the father truly is abusive or anything of that sort, the child would eventually know about it anyway. I hope all single parents, moms and dads, do follow your suggestions. Thanks, and take care!

    Carlos Strey @ The Bridge Across

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