Tip #6 is Create Your Community
I still struggle with the super single mom syndrome. I have a tendency to try to do it all myself which is absolutely ludicrous! I used to feel out of control if I asked anyone for anything. In my mind reaching out for help meant I wasn’t capable of taking care of our little family or I was in some way failing as a mom. When in fact the responsible and smart thing to do was to push my pride and ego aside and ask for help so that I didn’t get burned out! If you want to burn out quickly one then refuse to lay down your supermom cape and ask for help. You may be moving along just fine for awhile, but prepare to crash and burn.
One of the most vital things you can do as a single mom is to create a community of support for yourself and your family. If you have family that lives close and willing to help you, God bless you! Take advantage (in a good way) of being able to call on your family when you need them. If you don’t have family in close proximity, start reaching out to create a supportive community. I know this isn’t always easy, especially if you’re unsure of where to start, but sometimes it really is as simple as saying hello. You’d be surprised how many women are searching for that same sense of community. Bonding with other single moms is a gift because they really understand some of the unique challenges you face on a daily basis.
I sincerely appreciate and love my single mom friends. Let me give you a glimpse into how one of my dearest friends Christina another single mom has come to my rescue on several occasions. One year I had the flu so badly that I literally couldn’t move. Being stubborn I refused to call anyone, until I was parked in my daughter’s school parking lot unable to do anything but cry. Christina picked me up brought me to urgent care, got my meds then picked my daughter up from school and continued to help me through the entire time I was ill. Another time she saved my sanity when I couldn’t get my 7 foot Christmas tree to stop tumbling over. was She went to Home Depot and bought a larger stand and then helped with the tree. She’s always there ready to talk to me for hours when I need an ear and honestly she is one of the best friends I’ve ever had and we’ve only known each other for about 6 years! She has become one of my greatest blessings. Do you have a Christina in your life? If not it is time to try and get one! Here are a couple ideas on how to start creating that community:
-Talk to moms at your children’s school. Invite them out for a cup of coffee or have a play date.
-Reach out to your sisters at church and consider creating a mom’s ministry or a single mom’s ministry.
-Start a meet up group for single moms
-Look for parenting groups in your area
-Try to find a mentor who can give you sound guidance
-Be open to sharing resources with other moms (for examples tips, babysitters, etc.)
Once you start forming your community remember you only get out of it what you put it into it, all relationships need to be reciprocal. Discuss the areas you struggle in and how you can help each other out. Don’t be afraid to ask for help! Be creative in finding ways to be supportive. For example, maybe you can babysit her kids for an hour on parent’s night and then when you return she can watch your kids, do a dinner potluck once every couple weeks, or share family dinners on Sunday, there are countless ways you can help lighten one another’s load. These relationships can bloom into something beautiful if you spend the time to nurture them. So get out there and create your community!