Galatians 5: 15″If you keep on biting and devouring each other watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.”
I may have just touched a nerve with a whole bunch of women out there, so if you get annoyed with me it’s okay I get it, but I think it is important to be honest about the one relationship is vital to our children’s well-being… our relationship with their father. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again this is a complex relationship full of emotions, struggles, sometimes anger, and even sadness. I won’t sugar coat that this is a multi-layer relationship with lots of history that is often difficult to navigate. Do I always get along with my daughter’s father? No, I don’t. We go through deep valleys and high peaks, it can be an ebb and flow type of thing, but the bottom line is we are both her parents and it does matter that we do the best we can for her and that doesn’t happen by trying to rip each other apart.
Here’s what I’ve found… Complaining about your child’s father changes absolutely nothing. If anything it keeps you wrapped up in a pattern of anger, bitterness and frustration. I understand we all need to vent and get our feelings out, but what I am talking about is the constant harping and bad mouthing that keeps you stuck in the past and in chains. I understand that everyone’s situation is different and some are really severe so it can be hard not to want to go in on him, but this hurts everyone. Life is short do you really want to spend it caught up in a ball of anger? I’m not saying that if there is something that needs to be improved or changed then you shouldn’t pursue whatever steps need to be taken, but don’t you want to strive for peace?
So I’m proposing to stop complaining and start praying for the father of your children. Make a commitment for 30 days to 1) pray for him, 2) ask the Lord to change your relationship and make it one of peace, compassion and understanding, and 3) for the Lord to reveal to you how you can change to improve the relationship.
Envision how the relationship would need to evolve for it to be healthy for everyone especially your children and start praying for God to make it happen. Every time you’re ready to complain… pray. Do you stop after 30 days? No, my hope is that this is a constant prayer. But, make a commitment every day to pray for him by starting out with 30 days. I’m not trying to make light of any situation out there, but I do believe that God changes hearts! This is as much about you as it is about him. The Bible tells us in Philippians 1:27 “Whatever happens conduct yourselves in a manner worthy of the gospel of Christ.” This passage reminds me that I have a responsibility regardless of the situation to conduct myself as a child of Christ. No one said it would be easy, but I am accountable. Nothing fruitful can come from complaining but real change comes from praying!
So what do you say? Will you commit to praying for the father of your children for 30 days? I have 2 friends who are going to make a commitment with me and I can’t wait to see how God works! Let’s do the right thing in God’s eyes and for our families!