One of the most difficult aspects for children to adjust to in a divorce or seperation is the new schedule. That is an unfortunate casulty that affects everyone. Kids want to know where they’ll be and they crave structure. It isn’t easy going from mom’s house to dad’s house and it can be confusing. I have a personal calendar in my planner that has the weekends and days that my daughter is with her dad. Anya has expressed interest in wanting her own calendar to keep track of where she will be. At first, this made me sad, since my daughter is six, but then I realized that it would be a useful tool for her. She does deserve to know where she will be.
Depending upon the age of your child and your own personal situation, you may want to consider buying them a calendar to hang in their room, so they can keep track of when they will be at dad’s house. Make it fun, let them pick out the calendar and maybe use stickers to designate and distinguish between the days they will be with you and when they will be with their dad. Encourage them to write other events on their calendar, such as holidays, birthdays, school events, parties, etc. A calendar also encourages organization in your kids at an early age.
I don’t believe switching between mom and dad’s house is made all better by giving your kids a calendar, but it does inform them and gives them a sense of structure that will at least help in the transtion.