I’ve been going through a difficult time and although I do my best to keep a positive attitude, there are times when I’m just plain old tired, mad, and not feeling so spiritual. Anytime you go through a trial and it’s deeply personal it is often hard to see the sun through the clouds. Today, I woke up and thought about the laundry list I had to complete and was overwhelmed! There is work, gymnastics, homework, church, and I’m pulling together that last few things I need to give to my lawyer for discovery. I took a breather at work and was looking at a Parent in Silver Spring blog and came across another blog written by Susan Niebur, who writes Toddler Planet. She’s a wife and mother of a 4 &6 year old, I’m sure we may have a lot in common since we both have children around the same age, but there is one big thing we don’t have in common… Susan is fighting metastatic breast cancer in her spine, neck, ribs, and hips.
See unlike me, who can take deep breaths when I’m feeling stressed Susan has an oxygen machine. Unlike me who can run after Anya and shuttle her from school to gymnastics class, Susan is in bed, in pain and will have hospice come to her home and can’t take her children back and forth to school or classes. Susan is fighting for her life. After reading her blog, and I encourage you too also, I gave myself a good kick in the butt. Who cares how busy I am? Who cares that I have to put documents together for discovery that are completely irrelevant to this custody case? Who cares that I may not get 8 or even 5 hours of sleep? Who cares that I have to rush between picking up Anya, feeding her and dropping her off to gymnastics? Who cares about any of this!! I am healthy! I can pick up my daughter and hold for hours without feeling any pain. I’m not going through radiation or having hospice come to my house at the age of 39. I can fully participate in my daughter’s life! I have the strength to fight this custody case with every bit of energy, love, and fire that I have in me and know that God will take care of this! I am alive and able. By the grace of God at this minute I am healthy and I asked God to forgive me for my complaining and whining and thanked him for all of his blessings.
Tonight I’m going to do my best to enjoy the busyness in my life. I’m going to remember that in an instant life can change and in a blink of an eye I may wish that I could run around picking up Anya and dropping her off at class. I’m going to be grateful for all the stuff even if it drives me crazy, because I’m here and I’m able. I admire Susan’s courage and strength during this time of adversity in her life. She is in my prayers and I ask that you pray for God to heal and restore this wonderful and courageous mom, that could easily be our friend, sister, or mother. Thank you Susan for reminding me to think about what matters.